Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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