it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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