The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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