I can text with my tongue
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
