She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
