This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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