At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
