first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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