I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
