I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
