God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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