Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.

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  (216): He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract. http://tfl.nu/wrx8
  Replies (26) Good night (734) Bad night (2947)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.

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  (609): The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner. http://tfl.nu/zame
  Replies (6) Good night (1818) Bad night (1164)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.

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  (585): I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys. http://tfl.nu/354b
  Replies (19) Good night (5477) Bad night (1848)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left

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  (217): The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left http://tfl.nu/fjkf
  Replies (15) Good night (2349) Bad night (1139)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.

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  (203): she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it. http://tfl.nu/xu40
  Replies (12) Good night (1872) Bad night (3395)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets

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  (970): I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets http://tfl.nu/8nkk
  Replies (2) Good night (1330) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile

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  (661): I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile http://tfl.nu/m5ed
  Replies (8) Good night (1183) Bad night (1580)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  don't cry, we can learn from her

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  (248): the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness (1-248): don't cry, we can learn from her http://tfl.nu/jqhb
  Replies (2) Good night (1725) Bad night (855)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.

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  (309): This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend. http://tfl.nu/skkm
  Replies (9) Good night (1821) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.

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  (661): I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere. http://tfl.nu/qnta
  Replies (12) Good night (2031) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ... That's a shower caddy.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.

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  (541): You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever! (503): ... That's a shower caddy. (541): I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation. http://tfl.nu/svbx
  Replies (11) Good night (3385) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.

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  (732): You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home. (732): you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato. (732): IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME. http://tfl.nu/cjpu
  Replies (6) Good night (1397) Bad night (651)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.

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  (727): This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners. http://tfl.nu/f1o4
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(

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  (613): I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:( http://tfl.nu/jd5u
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (267)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?

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  (902): Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport? http://tfl.nu/84nt
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (293)

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