I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
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after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
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The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left