I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.