Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.

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  (646): I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister. http://tfl.nu/fqyo
  Replies (26) Good night (9255) Bad night (1417)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.

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  (303): Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart. http://tfl.nu/j609
  Replies (9) Good night (1659) Bad night (4415)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

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  (651): The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing. http://tfl.nu/9cqq
  Replies (15) Good night (5331) Bad night (1217)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder

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  (203): They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder http://tfl.nu/slwo
  Replies (4) Good night (1862) Bad night (904)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.

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  (574): If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time. http://tfl.nu/3esg
  Replies (3) Good night (2125) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.

  (1-925): View more from California

  We just have a real special relationship.

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  (925): I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar. (1-925): We just have a real special relationship. http://tfl.nu/gnex
  Replies (11) Good night (2676) Bad night (729)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having

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  (505): I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having http://tfl.nu/8kbk
  Replies (1) Good night (1142) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger

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  (+61): The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/x8sq
  Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".

  (415): View more from California

  good luck with that

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  (415): I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco". (415): good luck with that http://tfl.nu/41gz
  Replies (4) Good night (1000) Bad night (1079)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.

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  (217): he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex. http://tfl.nu/9sp5
  Replies (4) Good night (1095) Bad night (637)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory

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  (401): After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory http://tfl.nu/d8ep
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you were serious about those bagels

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  (303): you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning (303): you were serious about those bagels http://tfl.nu/cmdj
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!

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  (+61): I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five! http://tfl.nu/d35d
  Replies (4) Good night (668) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself

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  (775): He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself http://tfl.nu/55fu
  Replies (3) Good night (339) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog

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  (570): Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog http://tfl.nu/gmkp
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (206)

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