Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest http://tfl.nu/nou3
  Replies (8) Good night (1266) Bad night (1995)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie http://tfl.nu/b4xy
  Replies (24) Good night (3971) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure. http://tfl.nu/rujq
  Replies (23) Good night (735) Bad night (4287)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already" http://tfl.nu/32w5
  Replies (18) Good night (729) Bad night (4886)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  im so drunk with asians

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  where?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  always

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): im so drunk with asians (1-614): where? (614): always http://tfl.nu/is91
  Replies (43) Good night (7462) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  you dipped you banana in queso last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): you dipped you banana in queso last night. http://tfl.nu/375m
  Replies (7) Good night (809) Bad night (1624)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro" http://tfl.nu/ltp9
  Replies (3) Good night (2101) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too. http://tfl.nu/waf5
  Replies (2) Good night (1363) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING. http://tfl.nu/lnbz
  Replies (7) Good night (1188) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/lq2i
  Replies (1) Good night (205) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with. http://tfl.nu/mg3p
  Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me (1-563): You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding http://tfl.nu/u1iy
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods" http://tfl.nu/38wh
  Replies (4) Good night (469) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left. (1-314): So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home? http://tfl.nu/r5sj
  Replies (5) Good night (725) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too http://tfl.nu/wlj9
  Replies (0) Good night (329) Bad night (514)

Randomize