Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
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you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.