We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
