there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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