yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
