Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
