she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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