Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You took a bar mat shot.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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