capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
