How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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