Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
