No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
