I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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