dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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