Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
