I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
