Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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