I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
