she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
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did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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