There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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