Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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