who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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