It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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