You're so nebulous sometimes
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
