After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
