At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Only a mothe r could love this liver
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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