i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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