i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
