did you get engaged???
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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