The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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