so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize