Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you will always have a special place in my vag
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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