I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Never joke about your clitoris.
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