dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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