Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
