Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
