well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
