It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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