if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
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He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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