I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just high enough for therapy.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
