C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
