p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
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