idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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