if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This house was built for laser tag.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There are leaves in my underwear?
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