dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and she was petting her beer can
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
