Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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