Can i not drive my cunt home
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
