Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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