my vag is so smooth its legendary
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
