if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
