porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I have already put on my inside pants.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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