She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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