just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
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Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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