Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
